“We knew Uncle Charlie, a ventriloquist at kids’ birthday parties, was getting WAY too comfortable with his colostomy when he started working his stoma into the act.”
HAVE AN OSTOMY!
Oh right, corn on the cob!
Do you sometimes have an urge to poop
When no public John’s in reach?
Or it makes you gag, ’cause it needs a rag
And some disinfectant bleach?
… HAVE AN OSTOMY!
Are you worried ’bout your memory?
What DID you eat last night?
Don’t scour your brain, don’t stress and strain.
There’s an answer to your plight.
… HAVE AN OSTOMY!
Do you fart so loud, you release a cloud
That makes your dog turn tail?
Do you find you pine for the silent kind
That your loved ones can inhale?
… HAVE AN OSTOMY!
Are you a CEO with no time to go?
Or a mom with just too much to do?
Take your time.
Have some wine.
… HAVE AN OSTOMY. HAVE TWO!
the OSTOMY RAFT 